Apologize to yourself for all of the times when you were silently suffering. When you claimed you were fine because you didn’t want to seem overemotional. When you acted like you were okay with a casual relationship because you wanted to come across as cool. When you cried yourself to sleep or locked yourself in a bathroom stall because you didn’t want to admit you were more vulnerable than you looked.
Apologize to yourself for all of the times when you settled for less than you deserved. When you stayed in a bad relationship for a little too long. When you reached out to your toxic ex because you were feeling lonely. When you decided you could not do any better so you might as well enter a relationship with someone you only kind of liked.
Apologize to yourself for all of your unmet expectations. When you stayed up past your bedtime to wait for a text that was not coming. When you took an extra hour to get dressed nicely for a certain someone and then they ended up canceling plans. When you got your hopes up about a date night that fell through. When you got excited about dating someone who ended up being another almost.
Apologize to yourself for all of the wasted time you spent waiting. When you kept glancing back at your phone, waiting for a certain name to pop onto the screen. When you sat alone at a restaurant or inside of your car because they showed up later than they promised. When you forced yourself to give them a little bit longer because you thought they would eventually place a label onto your relationship.
Apologize to yourself for placing yourself low on your priority list. When you skipped class or called out of work to spend time with someone who never would have rearranged their schedule for you. When you lost sleep because you were busy arguing with someone who didn’t care you had to get up early the next morning. When you drove miles out of your way to see someone, because they never would have done the same for you but you still wanted to see them.
Apologize to yourself for missing the red flags you should have seen. When your friends warned you about a certain someone but you ignored them and called them jealous. When you decided to ignore all of the faults in someone because most of the time things were good between you. When you actually did notice the warning signs but actively chose to ignore them because you didn’t want the relationship to end.
Apologize to yourself for the horrible thoughts you have had about yourself over the years. When you were brokenhearted and convinced you would never find love again. When you believed you were the problem. When you wondered whether you would ever be enough for someone. When you called yourself ugly and unlovable.
Apologize to yourself for settling for such a long time, because you know damn well you deserve more.
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